Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

What do you call a black man on the side of the road? -A black man who needs a ride.

Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? They are delicious.

My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

What's blue and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool? A dead baby, why's it there? I popped the arm bands.

What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

what is not funny? This joke.

you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they dont make sense. Refrigerator.

Your momma's so fat... She's on a diet.

My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Potato"

What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

girl says..joe..................................................................... boy says...who is joe................. girl..the idiot of a helper at my skl

Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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