What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

How do you get rid of a boomerang? There are many potential options for getting rid of your boomerang. You can choose to pass it on to somebody as a gift, make a profit through thrift stores or online auctions or perhaps sell it in a newspaper. Alternatively you may wish to simply dispose of it. The average reading speed of an American adult is 300 words per minute. This was exactly 100 words. This means that it took approximately 20 seconds to read it. This means that approximately 4 people died of cancer world wide while you read this.

How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

i think i have a problem with these jokes they aren't finny

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

what's funnier than 1 Mecican? 2 Mexicans

wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

Knock, Knock. Come in.

Your momma's so fat... She's on a diet.

Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they dont make sense. Refrigerator.

Two gay guys walked in to a bar. It's unfair of me to make the assumption that they're gay, they just be really good friends whom aren't opposed to touching each other.

What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

Sarah Palin

Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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