what the hell happened to your face

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza is an inanimate object, while a black man is a person. racist F.u.c.k.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

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What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Little Johnny asks his father how babies are made. So the father rapes him from behind.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

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My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Potato"

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Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

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What's worse than women's rights? Actually, not much, because women throughout history suffered for too long the hardships of over dominant male figures and deserve the freedoms they have achieved today.

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lebron

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roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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what is long,hard and holds semen,a submarine , i spelled seamen wrong

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A BABY seal walks into a club

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what did the atheist get for Christmas? Nothing. If he was being truly honest to his beliefs, he wouldn't partake in a christian holiday.

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What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops