Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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Your so ugly That when you look into a mirror it shows an accurate potrail of your unproportionit face

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Why did Windows crash ? F*ck Windows, that's why.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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This guys walks in a forest and meets a bear. So he says : - Yo yo, whattup, bear ? And the bear says "ROAR!" Because he's a bear.

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what did the hobo do when he saw timmy get hit by the bus and drop his ice cream? stole the ice cream and laughed

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What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

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Dick Chaney

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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Yo mama so stupid she liked this joke

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"Ask me if I'm a billboard" "Are you a billboard?" "No"

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

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What is the worst part about being a black Jew? Having to sit at the back of the gas chamber.

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What do you get when you cross a pelican with a mountain goat? It's hard to say.

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yo mama so fat that she should be concerned because diabetes is a serious issue

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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There is a running race, both black and white people are running in this race! Half way through there is an avalanche and every black person running was killed! Who won the race??? Society... :D

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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