Why do immigrants move to the UK? To seek a better life

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Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

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Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

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Richard fell off of a cliff. He can fly.

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A man walked in a bar had 4 drinks and walked home because drunk driving is dangerous

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Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

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A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

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Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

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How long does it take a black woman to take a shit? Why in the world would you want to know something like that? But anyway, the answer is somewhere, on average, between 10 seconds and 15 minutes. It really varies and conditions like irritable bowel syndrome and constipation affect this range. Actually it takes about 9 months.

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It's black, and when it falls out of a tree, your refrigurator is broken. Your refrigurator.

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i was molested.

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

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What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

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What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

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Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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