Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

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Me: Knock Knock! You: Door's Open!

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what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

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Your so ugly That when you look into a mirror it shows an accurate potrail of your unproportionit face

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Q: What is hard and long on a man? A: His wife's funeral

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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I bought a DVD called "the 18 holes of Tiger Woods". It was a fascinating incite into the golfing technique of arguably one of the greatest sportsmen of all time.

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Nothing, he's the same person

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John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

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What do you call a black man jumping out of a plane? A skydiver

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if a black man, a Chinese man, and an Indian were about to jump off the Eiffel tower, who would hit the ground first? who cares?

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

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Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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a 12 year eld Maxican girl is aksed to spell the werd newmonia she gets it rite and wins the spalling beef which makes me sad bcuz English is my forst langage and i still dont get it and im 25

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Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

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What did the young girl get for Christmas? Violently raped and murdered by her abusive father.

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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