What do you call a pig with no arms? A pig, pigs don't have arms

Know what's funny? Jokes.

Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was recently released from prison for violent crimes.

Why did Sally fall of the Swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

A cow walks into a bar and says, "moo."

Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

Hey Tim lets think of a joke

knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

Jesus

What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

If Barbie is so popular...why do you have to buy her friends?

A fat man on a moped

Skittles are tasteless. Why? You can't taste the rainbow.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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