what did one caterpillar say to another caterpillar? let's be butterflies

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My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

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Why did the blond fall of the ladder? She had no arms.

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What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

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What rymes with milk..... milf

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how do you stop a baby crying hit it with a brick.

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Why did the blonde fall down? She got shot in the head.

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What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

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lebron

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Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

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why did the chicken cross the road ??? why would you care??

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sargeant John Smith mam. I regret to inform you that your husband died in the line of fire - I'm sorry.

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What do you call a man with three testicles? Polyorchid. Look it up.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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A man walks around a bar.

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How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

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So there's this mexican with a big sombrero riding a donkey, it was a sunny day and he didn't feel like walking.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the overwhelming feeling of self doubt created by an abusive drug addicted father which has left him seeking life threatening situations that should never befall a simple chicken.

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A crazy priest squats down and poops in the middle of the church... nobody understood what was going so they pointed and laughed.

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i'm a loser with body odor.. plus i play pokemon to pass the time because reality is just to horrible to face. guess who? josh wood.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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how to u kill a baby with no arms, throw it in a pool

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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