I'm on the seafood diet. I eat clams and shrimp because it is healthy for me.

How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

What did jimmy get for dinner? Food

what happend when the little boy went on the rollercoaster ? It crashed.

whats the difference between an orange and a bicycle? One has handlebars..the other one doesnt.

Why the hell does my sister shower in a swimsuit every time? Its not as if anyone is looking! ALRIGHT! ONCE ALRIGHT? ONLY ONCE! But then she hears the sound of my zipper ONCE and the shit hits the fan! Which is weird, yeah suuure she hears it when I pull it up, but when I pull it down and stroke it and moan? Nada!

A russian, a mexican, and an american are all sitting in a tavern. The russian ordered vodka, the mexican orders tequila, and the american orders a beer. When the waiter arrives, the russian throws his vodka into the air, shoots it, and says "we got too many of those in our country". The mexican tosses up his tequila and says "we got too many of those in our country". The american throws up his beer, shoots the mexican, and says "we got too many of those in our country". And then drinks his beer.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he was greeting his new neighbors that moved in across the street. He was very friendly.

What does water taste like? Water

Why did Sheryl Go to the Bathroom? Cause she had Direha...........

42

What did the orphan get for his birthday? Shit on.

wake n shake = wake up and masterbate to a picture of drew e mom o.O

so there was a frog a bear and a walrus... i forgot how the rest goes but they all die because of a nuclear holocaust

Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

A black man and a mexican jump of a building to see who hits the ground first. Who wins? Society.

roses are red violets are blue your mum is a whore as are you:)

Wanna hear a joke about a baby with AIDS? It never gets old.

What do you call a joke book without a title? A joke book!!!!

What do you get when you cross a bus full of cancer patients and a train full of children? A very sad train accident.

How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

What's big and green and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A snooker table

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...