Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did one lion say to the other lion? Nothing. There was no other lion. This particular lion had horrible social anxiety so he spent most of his time alone, eating buffalo poop and playing World of Warcraft thus further alienating himself from the other lions. He was a very lonely lion.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

KNOCK! KNOCK! Who is it? Wood pecker. Wood pecker who? KNOCK! KNOCK!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A horse didn't walk into a bar. The door wasn't big enough

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you send Harry Potter a post card? Get an owl to send it to his house.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did the farmer stop the chicken from swearing? Cutting it's head off, skinning it, plucking it's feathers and cooking it on a medium heat for about an hour. He then served it up to his family with green beans, mash and parsnips.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's red, white and not blue. A Canadian flag

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why would a woman be out of the kitchen? Because she is busy working, being outside, resting, or any other activity that does not include food.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a nintendo wii.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

HOW MANY CRACK-HEADS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB? NONE, THERE AIN'T NO ELECTRICITY IN THE CRACKHOUSE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do a raven and a writing desk have in common? I have no idea.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If a bunch of midgets do the wave, is it a ripple ?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Where can you find the best black man soup? I don't know. Cannibilism is no longer socially acceptable.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What peels, is a fruit, yellow and tastes like a bannana? A bannana.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Crowded elevator smell different to midget-Confucius say.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Wanna hear a dead baby joke? Brittany Spears is pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why do people insist on drinking diet soda meanwhile eating extremely unhealthy food? Because some people like the taste of diet soda over regular soda.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's funnier than the holocaust? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's did the white man say to the black man? Howdy.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What was that pirate movie rated? PG-13

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? If the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are because there are no replacement light bulbs, the don't have transportation, and the nearest store is 10 miles away. In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Female Orgasms

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops