Double-whammy

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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Where did Officer Blackman find the missing child? A shallow grave.

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Why was Rodney afraid of Chung Lee? Because Chung Lee is an intimidating person, capable of literally ripping your face off.

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A wise man once said, "I am wise".

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I know where you live. No seriously im looking at you through your window. 80% of you just checked. 90% of you didnt realize i just ended that statement with a question mark. 100% of you just checked gotcha

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

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Why did the man look in the mirror? To see his reflection.

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A have a black guy in my family tree. He married my cousin a few years back

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Q: What's worse than getting a divorce? A: I don't know, i'm still married.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor

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What did the Asian man say to the Mexican man? Nothing, due to the language barrier.

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Ask me if I'm a tree I don't need to, because I know you're not a tree

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Why was little Timmy afraid of his dentist? Because he was 10 foot scorpion.

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Why do so many black people like watermelon? The same reason so many white people, do. Have you had that stuff, it's really good!

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A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

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If I had a penny for every time I said the word "the" I would have AIDS

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whats worse than a baby in a bathtub? its dead. Whats worse than that? its in a clown suit. Whats worse than that? The baby had down syndrome.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

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What's funnier than a dead baby? Almost everything. Infant mortality rates are incrediby high in many third world countries, and it is certainly no laughing matter.

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Why did the bird fall down? It got shot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops