A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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Why couldn't the colorblind boy play Twister with his friends? He was a quadriplegic.

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Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

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Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

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What's a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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aa

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Whats the first thing you do when your grandmother gets hit by a toaster? Buy a new toaster.

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How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

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Your Mum Is So Dumb, It Took Her 2 Hours To Watch 60 Minutes.

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How do you get 100 Jews in a car? It is physically impossible to fit 100 full grown homosapians into a vehicle, therefore it will not work.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares what a Chicken does?

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Q: Why did the Jew fit in with the White people? A: Because he, and his compatriots, have accepted the view of Judaism as a religion, and perhaps a lifestyle -- but not a race.

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Why did the horse stop running? His master beat him to death.

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Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

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Q: What did the dog say the cat? A: nothing, because dogs cannot speak, and even if they could, I highly doubt they would speak cat.

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How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

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i'll leave 'em dead in the living room. get it leave 'em dead in the living room

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After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

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your mummas so ugley that it looks like it court fire and your family put it out with forkes

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I mustache you a question. But I'll shave it for later.

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This is supposed to be an anti-joke.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? a fridge was thrown at her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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