Two pretzels were walking down the street when one got assaulted...

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he found a crosswalk with a walk symbol near his destination.

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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What's worse than having your t.v. stolen by a Mexican? Getting raped with a chainsaw.

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby tied to a tree? Everything, infant mortality is a very sad thing.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish.

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Guy A turns to Guy B and says, 'Hey, can I use your cellphone to call my mom?" Guy B nods and says, "Yeah, sure, just press redial." Guy B had been planning an surprise party for Guy A and had called Guy A's mother for ideas.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Whats bloody and is dead. My son.

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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You know what happens when you assume? You make a judgment based on incomplete information.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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How do you piss off a teacher? Accuse them of being a pedophile

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Why did you fall? Because of my buttcrack.

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Stop procrastinating.

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it's funny because it's funny

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A blonde goes in an electronic store. She buys a TV and leaves.

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why is my wife crying? because she doesn't like tomatoes

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yo momma is so fat she ate the rest of the joke

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Friends are like trees, if you deprive them from water they'll die.

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Knock Knock Come in! :)

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How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? He's his dad. He bought the presents.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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