Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was sick and tired of all the repeated monkey jokes and commited suicide and preceded to fall out of the tree.

Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

Whats The difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash And one is a watermelon

Why did the plane leave late? Because they were out of Kellogg's® Breakfast Cereal.

I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is a 120 mph car crash

Whats fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? Theres twenty of them

I once had a friend We had our arguments, and went our separate ways.

why are black people good at sports? because i f***ed your mom

What is brown and has three legs? A horse. It lost a leg in a glue factory.

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

You're American when you enter the the bathroom and you're American when you exit the bathroom. What are you while you're inside the bathroom? Using the bathroom.

What did little Timmy find at the bottom of the well? The fact that he could no longer breathe and thus causing him to drown.

Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

Q: what do you call a man eating some chicken ? A: a hungry man (hahahahahahaha.......i should get a life)

No deal, blind trust and I help you, or no friendship, and certainly no reason to help you.

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are pink Daisys are white

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Everything.

What kind of drug did the cops catch the alligator with? None. They were going to use a tranquiliser dart, but SPCA intervened and simply held the alligator's mouth shut while they loaded it into a secure cage.

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

i know a guy called ryan he is a benny he has a combover

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Turns out a man suffering from schizophrenia believes he is a bartender for animals as his health slowly declines as his family comes to visit him every day.

What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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