Intel Core Computers answer robot flavored phones at middle of june CC

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A seal walks into a club, It proceeds to maul customers and then makes its way back to the ocean where it lives.

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What do you call a Mexican policeman? Officer.

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A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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Why does Billy hate waiting in line? Because he's impatient.

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Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

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Why couldn't the child with down syndrome zip up their jacket.... it was a button jacket ... you asshole

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why couldn't three people walk? they were a part of the human centipede.

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What's the scariest thing about the dark? There's a black man in my bed.

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How do you kill a blond? Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool.

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How did the man lose his arm? beacuse of the five year old with a knife obsesion standing right beind you at this minute...

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Terry has ebola

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Roses are blue Violets are red I shot your valentine Straight in the head

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What would be the worst thing to do to Helen Keller? Cut her hands off, as it would destroy her last chance at communication and re-arranging her house so she often fell nub first over chairs.

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What do you call a black man eating dessert? A man of African ancestry enjoying a sweet treat.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where did my tractor go.

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What did the Icelandic man say to the Norwegian man? Vishtok yerder poten hash vil narsh varden.

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Why did John McCain lose the election? He did not get as many votes as Barack Obama.

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Your mom is so nice.

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If two blondes had a kid it would probably be a blonde because two recessive chromosomes have a higher chance of showing than one dominant gene.

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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