My girlfriend said she doesn't like anti jokes and now i'm single ha ha just kidding.... she's dead

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? I don't know, I've never tried to.

a man walk into a bakery, he sais... may i have a loaf of bread....

I'd like to make a withdraw

How do you kill a blonde woman? Shoot her in the head

Roses are red Violets are blue The sun is bright.

What did one orphan say to the other? 'Robin get in the car!'

Knock Knock Who's there? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny your son let me in mom! Son, I have something to tell you. What? Well, you're actually adopted *sobs*

What's the difference between black and white people? One is black.

Why did the Girl fall of the swing? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's There? Not That Girl

A women in the kitchen.

Why did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Because you touch yourself at night

Whats better than sex? Not dying. Ha

hickory dickory dock no one cares

How many dead babies can fit in the trunk of my car? Seven.

You are in a room with no doors and no windows. All you have a chainsaw and a mirror. How do you get out? You don't and will slowly die a painful death of asphyxiation.

What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and floats? Nothing, its rude to make fun of disabilities.

What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

Whats worse than peeing blood? Dying.

Knock Knock Who's there? UPS you have a package from Amazon. \ Oh, Thanks, where do I sign? Right here. Ok, thanks, have a nice day. Thanks you too.

Why was the kid hungry? Because he lived in Africa.

R: Caught my wife cheating the other night. P: You bitter? R: Yes. I am.

Why was the prostitute unsuccessful? because she had no vagina

What did one traffic light say to the other? Nothing, as traffic lights are incapable of thought as they are not living.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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