- Anti Joke

My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she died of pancreatic cancer.

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

What do you get when you put your dick in a potato? A guy who is into creepy sex

What did Delaware? A coat.

What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

A man walks into his house to see his TV is moving. He notices a black man who starts running when he enters. He then calls the police and gives a description of the man. The robber gets placed under arrest.

Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Not the case here, though.

Why didn't the chicken cross tithe road Because it was a motorway

no

Not a joke.

What is old and fancy and comes in two pieces? Marie Antoinette.

Here's a joke for you, my life...

Three men went out for a night on the town, one had too much to drink and was forced to take a cab home.

What do you call a kid with down syndrome and no arms? Whatever his name is.

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas ? cancer

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? If the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are because there are no replacement light bulbs, the don't have transportation, and the nearest store is 10 miles away. In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

knock! knock! Who's there ...So y do you have a peep whole?

What is worse than getting a bad grade on a test. Having your family dog bled out in front of you, bitch.

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

Three black men was in a car. They were going on holiday.

A Man Walks into a Bar with a Dog. He is blind, and is promptly guided to his seat by other patrons.

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

Q. Did you hear about the gay guy that's on the patch? A. yeah, that's a really big step, quitting smoking is tough

What did the gay man die of? Obesity.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops