What is the definition of “making love”? Something a woman does while a guy is f-ing her.

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If a llama walks into a jewelry store and a carrot has no feathers, then why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a car because chickens are simple creatures and don't understand the complex rules of the road.

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A brunette, a blond and a red-head decide to go swimming in a lake. To prepare, they go shopping together to get some new bikinis. When they get to the shop they are pleased to find that the bikinis are on sale and they get them 50% off. They drive with their new swimwear to the lake and get changed in the changing room. When they get out they notice that it is quite cold. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice that the lake is dirty. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice the lake is actually a spill of oil. They decide to go swimming anyway. They remember that none of them can swim. They decide to go swimming anyway. They jump in. They drown.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face" To which the horse replies by trampling him to death for making rude remarks about his face.

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What do you call a man with a knife in his back? An ambulance

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How many Haitians does it take to change a lightbulb? Typically one, unless the light bulb referenced is in an inconvenient location or is over-sized / industrial grade.

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I went to the bookstore to buy me a Where's Waldo book. I looked through the store and couldn't find it anywhere.... Well played waldo, well played.

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(To the tune of Perry the Platypus) He's a completely retarded Allosaurus of action! A purple dopey dimwit who always giggles away! He never does anything But children's songs he does sing And the little kids squeal whenever they hear him say... *i love you, you love me* He's Barney! Barney the Dinosaur!

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Two muffins are in an oven one of them says "wow it's hot in here" The other muffin says "Ah a talking muffin"

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Two women get in the shower at the same time, because they both start work at 8:00am and have commutes of similar length.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman crashed onto a desert island... The Englishman swiftly used his satellite phone to broadcast their location and they were taken home to their worried families.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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what did the guy say to the other guy? nothing because right before he was going to say something he was hit by a truck and got knocked out for 11 hours and right before he was going to wake a plane crashed into the hospital and everybody died except for two gay guys.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he didn't make it

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A man wanted to kill himself.. He did.

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why did i come to this site i was doing a school easy about the anti-apartheid movement

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A1: he was shot. A2: he died A3: the forest was being cut down and he got into a machine and was shredded to pieces A4: he fell asleep

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go F*** yourself

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What do you call a black man who has been killed? A dead person.

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Why did the boy with one arm have no friends? He was a cereal killer from Ireland.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Cause he wanted to

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what is Rebecca black's favorite restaurant? Ruby Tuesdays

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Whats worse then hell? The guy who commited suicide would know.

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Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 was convicted of a murder, but was released due to lack of evidence, and 6 is very concerned for the protection of himself and his growing family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops