What do you call a lesbian eskimo? The name she was given at birth.

Two hippos are in a lake with water up to their eyes. One of them then says, "i keep thinking it's tueday"

I was strolling along the countryside and saw 2 niiggers peacefully hanging from a tree

Q: What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A: A pilot you racist.

What song does a bulimic person sing while on the toilet? Nothing Bulimic people don't poop.

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

Why can't girls count to seventy? Trick question. Clinical research has proven that a fair amount of girls are, in fact, capable of counting from one to seventy using ordinal numbers in the Arabic numeral system.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 cantaloupe.

Vote this down and get DOXED

Knock, knock. Door opened.

Say silk 5 times. Silk Silk Silk Silk Silk Now what do cows drink? Water.

Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

Roses are red, violets are blue, some people are gay, and so are you

Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

How many Jews fit in an oven? Nein

What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo. Moral: Cuckoo!

Man: Doctor, everything I touch hurts. Doctor: Okay. Let's test it out by first touching your leg. Man: It hurts. Doctor: What about your arm? Man: It hurts as much. Doctor: What about your back? Man: It still hurts. Doctor: I see......your fingers are broken.

What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

what do the parents of a starved family do? kill their kids chop them up into little pieces and eat them.

People are a lot like slinkies. Not really good for anything, but still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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