Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black —Stevie Wonder

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Why couldn't the Asian couple have a white baby? Because two Wongs were mixed up in the paperwork so as a result the other Wong family ended up getting the child.

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what did the black guy say to the white guy im black

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Netflix and chill

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What did the boy dog say to the girl dog? Ruff

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Statues: Show what great people look like, if birds shit all over them.

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Why did the clam not like to share? The deep sea is a competitive environment, where survival of the fittest is prominent.

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anti jokes are gay...your all gay

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Why can't Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish

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Gordon Brown smiles.

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What do a Fascist and a Democrat both have in common? Involvement in politics.

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Why is the redneck crying? They died of diabeetus.

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: why cant elvis draw a picture. A: cause hes dead.

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Roses are red Violets are violet Why does it go like that anyways? ~Yasmin~

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Why did Adolf Hitler Start WWII and kill millions of Jews? Because he was a poweful dictator

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Did you hear about the Polish couple taking selfies while on vacation in Portugal? They fell off a cliff and died in front of their children. True story.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Hurricane Katrina

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A man walks into a bar, asks the bartender for a beer. Bartender says, "That'll be $3.50." Man says,"The joke maker did not explain monetary transactions."

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an athiest walks into a church

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What's up with airplane food? Well I am a big fan of peanuts, so nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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