Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Your mom is so old that she has a lot of wrinkles because that's what happens to people when they get old.

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how do you kill a blond? give her a gun and tell her it a blow dryer

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This one time, at band camp, I played the trumpet.

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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Why was the woman happy to give birth to a beautiful, healthy child? Just kidding, she had an abortion.

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Why did the poorly educated man get fired from the M&M factory? He changed the M's to W's!

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Why was the chair sad? It wasn't, for chairs do not posses the proper attributes to feel emotions such as depression.

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What is three times more dangerous than war? Three wars.

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Roses are red My bulb is blue My pants are extending When I look at you

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Why are anti jokes so funny? Because they are not

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A Mormon walks into a bar.

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Whats cooler than being cool in High School? Nothing, now take a hit...everyone's looking

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I've lost my electron!! Are you sure? Yes! I'm Positive!

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Why did the boy fail math? He got bad grades.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid being killed in the slaughter house.

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What happens when you cross an Asian with a bass guitar? An Asian man lies down diagonally across a bass guitar.

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Have you tried african food? No. Neither have they!

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how are a ferrari and a pile of dead babies similar? neither are good to have in your garage when the police come.

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Naturally us at the order of exile, the ones that learn and teach the ways of Nero do not exist. Soon neither will those that speak against us. - Azure Dragon

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What's the only animal that has to be oiled? any animal I can think of

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Canadians

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Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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