What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

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Name a country that begins with the letter U A. True B. False C. All of the above D. None of the above

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A: My dog has no nose. B: How does it smell? A: Terrible.

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Pooring urine into your eyes, is a natural way to cure pink eye. Found this out this morning.

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What did the man do when he found a lost dog in his yard? He shot it. This was a very old, lonely, and distressed man with many unresolved problems resulting from his childhood in poverty.

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I was so fat I went on a diet

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What did david give back? Nothing.

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(To the tune of Perry the Platypus) He's a completely retarded Allosaurus of action! A purple dopey dimwit who always giggles away! He never does anything But children's songs he does sing And the little kids squeal whenever they hear him say... *i love you, you love me* He's Barney! Barney the Dinosaur!

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender lights him on fire.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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One sux, the other is decent. But supporting the sucky one shows u are dedicated.

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Q. What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? A. Get in the car Robin.

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Two horses were in a field. One said "this is a good place to hide". The other said, "well, let's hope they don't Findus here!"

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What do you call a dear with no eyes. A mutilated dear.

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A coach walks into the team dressing room at halftime; his team is down 42-0. He screams at the players, "You guys are playing like a bunch of grannies. No offense"

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Yo mama is so old, the bone structure of her spine has decayed significantly since she stopped growing and has therefore shrunken in height considerably. Her face and hands have accumulated abundant visual wear; wrinkles, and has arthritis as well.

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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why did the girl like dick? Because Dick was a nice boy.

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What you do you call a gay man with no arms and legs? His name.

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Why did the sperm swim back? cos he realised that he was in someones anus!

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what's purple and plastic purple plastic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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