What's harder than killing a baby? My penis while doing it. by: Lucky7 LG

A mailman walks into a bar He delivers a bill for the electricity and leaves.

What's worst than dropping your watch into the gutter? Waking up with a penis on your head.

What do you call a Muslim pilot? An accident waiting to happen

Some say Helen Keller can't write a good book. You know what she said? Nothing.

What do you call a dog that can't pass an Algebra test? A dog.

Roses are Red Violets are Red Grass is Red Trees are Red My yard is on fire.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

I bought a pound of gold for my new gold ring, later that day I lost it

Roses are red Zombies are hungry and blue My brain is half-eaten And what about you?

What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish.

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

Q: Why did the fork cross the balloon? A: Apples

Patient- Doctor! I feel like a piece of ****! Doctor- What is ****? Patient- It's four dots on the computer screen representing a curse word. Doctor- What computer screen?

We was all sat down at the table ready to eat then Gary must've said something to Lucy because she just burst into tears and left the table.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? However many needed.

Q: What does a giraffe say to the other giraffes? A: Nothing, giraffes do not have vocal cords and are therefore unable to make any sounds, much less speak; not to mention a giraffes brain is far to underdeveloped to talk in a spoken language.

why is king kong so fat? because he eats to mucj

Where's my tractor?

It says so on your cap.

Roses are red violets are blue, I more do like pink like the holes are in you.

"Ask me a question." "No" "Cheese" ... "What?"

what happens when steven hawking walks into a bar? everyone cheers at the miracle of science.

How did the blonde girl fall down? She didnt see where she was goin

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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