sorry son your nanas been put down

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How does Helen Keller do her taxes? Unfortunately, she doesn't. Most of her friends have encouraged her to contact the IRS about this to see if she can start a repayment plan for her back-taxes or obtain some sort of federal assistance. Otherwise, Ms. Keller is likely to suffer serious legal consequences.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the giant try to eat the magical rainbow? A: Because the apocalypse is predicted for the Wednesday after santa gets shot by the evil jolly ice cream man which in secret is cheating on his wife who in turn eats every human baby ever known to man. duhhhhh

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A fat cat sits on the ground staring up at a fence. The fence stares down at the cat and laughs.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? Because the Joker was raping Robin too hard!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between a dead dog and a dead black man on the road? One's a dog and one is a man, but more importantly the differences shouldn't be noted in a miserable occasion such as this as both are unfortunate tragedies. Also, one has a big penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Rishi has popcorn while wass n jess r making jokes on anti jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q:What's the difference between a Boy scout and a Jew? A:Boy scouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A. Why did the man crash the car? B. Because the driver was a blind man with no arms, who happened to have a psychological problem affecting his brain's ability to detect movement, thus making the car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what has a huge nose and is jewish??? Henery Miller!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

knock knock Who's there Hi, im a memeber of the Church of Latter Day Saints. Id like to talk to you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ

thumb_up thumb_down -19

knock knock whose there? i don't know...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: What do yoiuo call an Italian butler? A: Vinny

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Two polar bears were sitting in a bathtub. One said to the other, "Could you pass the saop?". The other say, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?".

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did Mr. Sandman do whrn the boy asked for one too many dreams, nothing because Mr. Sandman was the boys bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? rockband

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red Violets are silly Grease up your flaps Cause here comes my willy!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats worse than falling off of your bike? thats as bad as it gets,try to think of something else

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a dear with no eyes. A mutilated dear.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

One sux, the other is decent. But supporting the sucky one shows u are dedicated.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q. What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? A. Get in the car Robin.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops