A man travels to the park, and kills a person, throws them in a bag and runs away. He then travels to the grocery store, kills 2 people, throws them in a bag and walks away. He then travels to the gas station, kills 3 people and walks away. He keeps traveling around killing people until he has claimed 69 victims in all. From this, we can infer that he was a psychotic murderer with a perverted sense of humor.

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Why are pigs smelly ? Because a cucumber can't walk.

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What's blue and smells like red paint? That blue guy from Megamind.

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Q: Why did the lady retire? A: Because she had been working for numerous years and felt that she needed to spend more time with her family.

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what did the homeless man get for christmas.......................nothing

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Double-whammy

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Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor

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Why was little Timmy afraid of his dentist? Because he was 10 foot scorpion.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

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You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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What's funnier than a dead baby? Almost everything. Infant mortality rates are incrediby high in many third world countries, and it is certainly no laughing matter.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

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OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange.

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Ask me if I'm a tree I don't need to, because I know you're not a tree

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What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

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What's the difference between a bicycle? An orange because it has no sleeves.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree Because it died

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saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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