What do shoes and boxes have in common Both will get squashed if a washing machine lands on one of them

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How do you identify a Chinese tank? They smash their own people.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Get a ladder from your house and kindly help him down.

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a tiger swims into the indian ocen and eats a tuna. the tiger shortly dies

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? About 4:30, unless he's running late, stuck in traffic, had to get gas.

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What did the Holocaust survivor say when asked about their memories in the deathcamps? A: I'd rather not think about it.

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What Do You Call a Hawk in Virginia? A Hawk What Do you Call a Hawk that lives in Virginia? Virgian Hawk

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This is an anti-anti joke. I don't expect him to get it.

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot? an orange parakeet

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The other day, a buddy of mine gave me some of his sandwich. "My wife made it," he said. "It's really good," I answered. We chewed in silence after that.

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, 'Have you heard about this mad cow disease?' and the other says 'Good thing we're penguins.'

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Nero, I mean it, I want you and your wife to have 15 million dollars, it wont buy you the happiness you seek, but it helps no?

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How did the black guy swim across the Atlantic? He didn't. He was prepared to, but then went on Expedia and found a ticket with Continental Airlines that was in his budget. He did not like the amount of service he recieved, and decided in the future he will save up and fly with a different company, or in fact swim across.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms in it, what's worse than that? The holocaust, whats worse than that? Biting into an apple and finding 3 worms in it

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So you are a giggler huh? You ticklish too? Anyway, you ever watched Deathnote? I was gonna ask something kinda important but it disappeared, so you tell me stuff first. Oh, my parents? Well, they where nice and sweet, but lets talk about something cruel and horrible. (If you switch up nice and sweet with cruel and horrible and the opposite, you will get the picture I am trying to pain here) What makes me so much more interesting huh? And why are you afraid you may look like an Alien? HEEEEEY! I am a legal citizen and I am not freaking Mexican!

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A black man, a jewish man and an asian man walk into a bar. They are attending the wake of a friend who died of cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, that's why I'm asking you.

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roses are red vilots are blue in soviot russa poem read you.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms! Knock knock! Who'z there? Not Suzy.

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because a rapist was chasing her

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple ? Finding out your apple is rotten on top of that.

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident.

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Knock knock Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? T get to the other side of the road

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Why was David sad? Because he got his head stuck in a window.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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