My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Potato"

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these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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Why didn't Betty ride her bike to school? She had no legs.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

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It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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Why did the fireman wear suspenders? To keep his pants up.

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Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

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Your momma's so fat... She's on a diet.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It's a meaningless question because animals had been creating eggs for millions of years before chickens ever evolved.

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Women's rights.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

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A man walked into a bar, he then fell to the ground screaming in pain.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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