- Anti Joke

a man walks into a bar he is an alcohol and it's ruining his family

Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

Q:What are black basketball players good at? A:Running,shooting and stealing.

Why did the chiken cross the road. Anwer: because it was being chased by a crazy horny/ kinky redneck.

What's the most stupid thing you have ever heard? Woman's Studies.

Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

a jew throwing a dime into a wishing well.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

why did the girl smear penut butter on the road. To go with the trafic jam

Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

Knock, Knock. Come in.

A Woman out of the kitchen

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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