What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? A Ferrari was never alive.

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Your at your local street corner and find a woman, the fact that she has balls dose not stop you from inviting her into your car.

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What is green and looks like a blue car? A Green car

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Jeez Bill, how drunk was I last night? You took my pet parakeet, threw it at my daughter's piggy bank and yelled "ANGRY BIRDS!!!!"

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Feeling alone fast after opening your mouth? Feel that people ignore your conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say AHAH!... And Uhuh, and I PERFECTLY UNDERSTAND! Now YOU CAN BE APPRECIATED INSTANTLY BY A BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE SAYING!

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Three black men walk into a bar. One of the men, having recently reached sobriety, opts not to commence in the consumption of alcohol. The other two, impressed by his level of restraint, decide to leave the bar and take the initiative to turn their lives around for the better.

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what do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question ................

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What is the biggest killer in America? Death.

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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What does Yoko Ono say while rehearsing her song before a concert? She gives directions to the band.

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So an irish man walks into a bar, 10 seconds later he is dead. What happened was there was a sharp piece of metal on the bar so is cut his throat and he bleed to death.

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An orange walks into a bar....orange you glad I didn't say banana?!?!

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why did the guy make a deer and and bear mix because he wanted some beer

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A Hispanic, Jew and black man walk into a bar. The bartender tells them to get out because he's closed.

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What happened When The lion asked the dog of a soda can? The giraffe who is taller the lion or the whos the fastest?

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What's funnier than a dead baby? -A dead baby sitting next to a kid with Down Syndrome.

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Why was it cold in Florida on Monday? Because there was an irregular cold front moving through. The Monday part was just a coincidence.

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wanna here a good joke? me too.

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Why do so many people troll on the internet? Because Hitler was awesome!

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Why did the man staple his own scrotum to his left thigh? He didn't. His friends did.

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Roses are red, violetsvare blue, I have aids, so do you

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Did u hear about the fire at the circus? 12 people died.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Why won't lance Armstrong survive 2012 Because he has cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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