Why did the woman drown in the bathtub? Her husband was holding her under.

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Why didn't my marriage work out? Because I married a tangerine.

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What do you get when you cross a monkey and a fish? An unlikely premise upon which to base a joke

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What do you call a man who kills others for his own amusement? A psychologist

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roses are red violets are blue clean up that **** or no sex 4 u

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What did the white male say to the black male who had just robbed a bank? I'm glad you have a reliable source of income to feed yourself and your family

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Well, you see, I'm an extractor fan.

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What did the dead baby say to horse? Nothing, it was dead

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An irishman walks into a bar and stays there until he goes home.

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A coach walks into the team dressing room at halftime; his team is down 42-0. He screams at the players, "You guys are playing like a bunch of grannies. No offense"

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How did Hitler fit 100 Jews in his car? Ashes don't take up much space.

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You might be a redneck if someone slaps you on the back of the neck.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Plumber, ma'am." "Thank God you're here. I haven't been able to take a shower in three days."

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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Why did the boy fail his test? Because he got shot before he could even study.

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Three french men are in the car wearing sombreros. They're trying to get to Disney World.

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Why did the giant frog attack the party goers with a ballistic missile? oh where tos tart...it's, just such a long story, I don't really know where to begin, in fact it's probably better if you just take my word for it, no need to go into details. we just don't have time for that now.

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Q:Why did Hitler lose World War II? A:His "gas" bill.

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Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

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How do u kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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How do you know if a girl is special? If she hates justin bieber, Twilight, and is open to threeways.

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There once was a man from Peru, he dreamt he was eating his shoe, he then woke up, took a shower, changed, and drove to work.

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How can you tell that the Filipino presidential candidate Grace Poe is an alien? From her extra set of retractable jaws and highly acidic body fluids.

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why did kyle and jake have sex? Because they were gay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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