Roses Are Blue I Have A Gun And Ill Sout You!

How can you outsmart Stephen Hawking? Steal the wheels of his chair and replace them with a dolphin.

What is Worst than having a cancer ? Having two cancer

How did the three girls get free drinks? Two of them were attractive and out of obligation to "the game" the third girl was also purchased a beverage.

What do old people break when they fight? A sweat

How many finger does a normal person have? 8...and 2 thumbs!!

A bar walked into a bar. To get to the other horse.

What did the toilet say when I pooped in it Nothing I just crapped in it

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

"Hey hey hey, did you hear the joke about the guy with terminal cancer?" "No." "Sorry to break it to you then."

I also wanted to write a joke but I forgot it so here I am. Minecraft rocks and everyone who says otherwise is a noob

One day a man walked into a wall

Throughout her entire pregnancy Sheniqua smoked, drank, and did many narcotic drugs such as heroin and cocaine. Why did she lose her baby before coming to term? Because I strangled her to death for being black.

being drunk in a mall sounds like it would be alot of fun . . . . . . . but that is public intoxication and that is against the law

a older brother and a lil brother have bunk beds, one night the older brother has his gf sneak over, they are going to have sex. he tells his gf, "say lettace for a new positon and say tomato for stop", they start and she screams, "lettace, tomato, lettace, tomato". then the lil brother says " will you guys stop making salad, ur getting mayonase all over my face!!!!"

from south park what do u call a jew on a rope no one ever said the answer, so my answer is a jew on a rope.

"We wear pink on Wednesdays"" -Mean Girls, 2004

Why is the country in a national deficit? Because the Illuminati want to control all human beings in a socialist new world order.

Saggy Nipples By chan chan

Your ancestors called. They want their glasses back!

What did the man say to his wife before she made him a sandwhich? Do your job and make me a sandwhich.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Hitler: honey what's for dinner? Hitlers wife: a jewwwsyy steak

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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