Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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What did the man think of when he saw a squadron of military bombers flying over his home? The football game is about to start

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teacher: say ur alphabet kid: abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwuxyz kid:wheres the pee teacher:half way down my leg

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Shit on her face

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How many jews can you fit into an ash-tray? none because the volume of a human is much greater than an any ash-tray

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You say tomayto, I say ecstasy.

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An Aisian failed a test

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You will NEVER guess what just happened!

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs? numerous abusive terms as you kickk him to death.

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Roses are black, Violets are black Everything is black I can't see

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Why was the little girl sad? Why???? Because an elephant stamped on her, and shat on her.

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What is Obamas favorite book? I don't know, ask him.

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Invisible Children Foundation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Cause he wanted to

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What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and only one eye? Dave.

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hey how do you turn the Xbox controller off thats easy turn the xbox off.

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i want to watch t.v, how do u turn it on? idk, do u know how? idk either, i cant see or hear then y do u want to watch t.v wuts a tv?

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What happens if you go one louder? Nothing because you can't

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How do you sink a Polish battleship? You breach the hull.

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Why is the duck? Because it has two feet the same.

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How do you put a baby in a blender? Feet first, so you can see its expression. How do you get a baby out of a blender? With chips.

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why did Sarah fall of the swing... she had no arms Knock Knock.... Whos there .... Not Sarah

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops