How do you get a tower to move? Hit it with a plane.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Its a long story, I got two balance nerves, I technically got four ear drums (relax you cant see it nor anything,neither can doctors without weird unpleasant stuff), I got about twice the number of synapses as regular people, and well, that makes me pretty damn good at some things, and a total retard at others.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

the chicken crossed the road. the chicken was then caught by animal control because it was in the middle of a city.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the duck cross the road? Hurricane Katrina

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did Batman say to Robin after they got on the bus? We should have taken the batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There are two cows standing in a field eating grass. The first cow says "moo", the second cow says "Thats funny, I was about to say that".

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you get a cat out of a tree? You throw a rock at it

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red Violets are violet Why does it go like that anyways? ~Yasmin~

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did a black kid kill his teacher? No reason. That what they do

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A lysdexic man tries to spell rentally metarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Adolf Hitler Start WWII and kill millions of Jews? Because he was a poweful dictator

thumb_up thumb_down -11

You were born.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whats worse than jonny james obviously

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the astronaut say when he stepped on the moon? Oops, sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Gordon Brown smiles.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why can't Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: are you gay? A: maybe

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Ian die Because I shot him with a gun

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two black guys walked into a bar. And they killed everybody.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

When I meet the woman of my dreams, she wont know what hit her... Nor will the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops