the midget went to the midget store

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Knock knock

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Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

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Q: What is the leading cause of pedophilia? A: Sexy children.

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A man says to another man, "Why the long face?" He then replies, "I have an elongated face, hands, and feet due to acromegaly."

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What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican? The bench can support a family.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Q: What do you call it when you get shot in the face 20 times with a shotgun? A:Nothing, you're dead. Q:What do we call it when you get shot 20 times with a shotgun? A: A blessing.

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Your dads dead. lol

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It's a bird! No, it's a plane! No, it's actually a bird. You can see its wings flapping.

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Q:Why was the blond so dumb A: She had downsidrome

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Steven. Steven who? Steven your neighbor, may I please come in?

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What's the difference between humans and dogs? 4.

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Q: What happens when a Jew with a boner runs into a wall? A: He breaks his nose.

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yo mama so old that back in her school she didnt have history class

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why didthe man's computer crash? the man has a serious porn addiction

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what did the old man say to the older man? "hey".

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Why did the duck cross the road? Hurricane Katrina

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How do Mexicans have sex? They get in bed, and the man puts his dick in his partner's vagina.

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An Italian man with a very thick accent decides to travel to America. On arriving, he decides to take a taxi and tour the nearby city. The man, feeling hungry after a while, chooses to stop at a bakery. Upon entering the bakery, the man walks up to the display of bread, and points at the loaves of bread he wanted, calling to the baker "I want 2 piece." The baker, not understanding the man's accent asks the man to repeat what he said. So the man repeats, "I want 2 piece, right here, right now." "Sure thing," the baker says, and gives the man the loaves of bread.

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Why bouriquet laugh ? cause hes mom get hit by a bus.

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So a dolphin is dropped off at a park and dies because he was out of the water to long.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I kill children dont worry about it

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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