what do you call a prostitute with white eyes? emma , with the cloudy iris,

thumb_up thumb_down -9

My three children are three big mistakes.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what's funnier than AIDS on a holocaust boy? everything. AIDS and the Holocaust are two terrible things.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q. Whats the worst soccer team in the world. A. Ass-enal.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Yo mamma so fat, she's on a diet and is losing weight at a good, steady rate.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why are you worrying about the chicken? You just got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A muslim walks into a airport. He then boards his flight and is flown to his destination.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, and drives women crazy. A 6 inch long 2 inch diameter syringe filled with heroin being injected into a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He removes the piece of lingerie from his face and continues shopping for clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other: "Hey are you worried about this Mad Cow Disease?? the other cow says "Nah, not at all mate...!" "Why Not?" says the cow "Because I'm a CHICKEN!"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's big, white, and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -9

knock knock whose there tim tim who just kidding its fred

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? About 144 licks but everyone gets different answers because we all lick lollipops differently.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the Jewish man commit suicide? Because he was not happy with his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

So a man walks into a bar. Well, he trips over it because it was very low to the ground and he didn't see it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a toothpick

thumb_up thumb_down -9

i just wrote this so hard

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I brought a parachute as carry on luggage, I was pulled aside at security and missed my flight.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do Vladimir Putin and a snake have in common? A central nervous system, to name but one of the many biological similarities.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats the difference between a pizza and your opinion? I asked for the pizza

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What happened when the dog was was let out to chase the rabbit? It caught the rabbit and killed it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats eight feet tall, purple, smooth, delicious, uses proper grammar, and likes dolphins. I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops