A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

thumb_up thumb_down

Set up Punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats fat yellow and diabetic Brett lai lan

thumb_up thumb_down

The opposing forces behind all human beings is not light vs darkness, not good vs evil, but fear vs ' love. Whatever is overwhelmingly good for one person, is evil to many. Overwhelming darkness wont allow you to see. Overwhelming light will make you blind. You can never fear overwhelming love. You can never love overwhelming fear. These are the true polar opposites, part of all emotion that drive the human being.

thumb_up thumb_down

how many Arabs and Jews can you fit on a bus? The bus in question is a 56 seater,so 56. If you cram some people in the aisles you could probably fit 65 if you didn't care about anyone's comfortability sheesh you might even for in 100 or more.

thumb_up thumb_down

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Tupac Shakur get shot? He was a famous and very controversial celebrity, which naturally led to having a lot of enemies.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worst than a crying baby? A dead baby What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies What's worse than a pile of dead babies? If there's an alive one at the bottom What's worse that an alive baby in a pile of dead babies? If it has to eat its way out.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the widow get for mother's day? A miscarriage

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the 3 year old get for her birthday? nothing she died of terminal cancer at the age of 2

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats the difference between chad woldert and justin beiber? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

thumb_up thumb_down

Did you hear the one about the deaf guy and the rhinoceros? Neither did he.

thumb_up thumb_down

How Many Chickens does it take to make an egg? NOrmally 2

thumb_up thumb_down

whats worse than the smell of nail polish? burning jews.

thumb_up thumb_down

Fine, just give me the top comment FOREVER, and I wont LIEK completely copy and assimilate your identity on Horsehead network... Forever... Muahahahahahaha!

thumb_up thumb_down

What's old and wrinkly? old people

thumb_up thumb_down

I may have Alzheimer's. But at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trash can 1 baby in 10 trash cans

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What is worse than getting stung by a bee? A: Your breath. Please have a mint.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock Knock Who’s there? Who Who who? Who who who Who who who who? Who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who…

thumb_up thumb_down

Weed.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops