Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, I very sorry.

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Hi, this is Luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone What doesn't kill you is a bad attempt on your life.

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I met this girl and we really got along, then one night she tied me up, I thought she was getting kinky...then she ripped my face off....

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Aaron Pfeifer likes men

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roses are red violets are blue no seriously they are

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how do you break up with your girlfriend? talk about their race.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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Then help me understand Nero, people had the free and legal right to decide to be a part of our, or your society if you prefer, where has that option gone now? Where is the people that choose to believe in their own potential and in the one of their equals? Today we live in a society where its basically pop culture to dislike oneself, where it is considered narcissism to like oneself, and you know that we have both been affected, while those we considered allies before, have joined the same people that branded us evil.

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what looks like a sock and goes on peoples feet? A sock

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Forget about them, do not compare yourself to those beneath you, you always wanted to help as many as possible, in a world where everyone fights for themselves only.

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What do you call a Black person in a city with high crime rates? Whatever their name happens to be.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop?

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what did the old lady die of old age...

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What do you call a bear. Rob.

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What did the man say to his doctor?

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A man walks into a bar. Wait, no, it was a horse. A man walks into a horse

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knock knock whos there? steve oh hi steve please come in

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How do you attach a nipple tassle to a purple honey badger? Refridgerator

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Your momma's so fat she has diabetes and my have to get one of her legs amputated. It's actually quite sad.

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What's better then a bad anti joke? A Good anti joke.

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Hello penis

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four score and seven years ago. . sharks with frickn laser beams attached to their FRICKeN HEADs.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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