What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

thumb_up thumb_down +46

One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +32

your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

you know what they say... hydrate or die

thumb_up thumb_down +24

how long does it take for a black woman to poop? depending on what she ate, about 5 to 10 minutes

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why did the girl smear penut butter on the road. To go with the trafic jam

thumb_up thumb_down +22

you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: why are kittens so cute? A: because god created them that way. go fourth and enjoy kittens.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

thumb_up thumb_down -8

a man walks into a bar he is an alcohol and it's ruining his family

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chiken cross the road. Anwer: because it was being chased by a crazy horny/ kinky redneck.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

thumb_up thumb_down -22

There was a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Gay Man on a plane. The plane was going down. The Priest said "amen". The Rabbi said "amein". The Gay Man put his penis in the rabbi's asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -162

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Me: Knock Knock! You: Door's Open!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops