Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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What is Osama Bin Laden's favorite food? I don't know, and to be completely honest I doubt you do either.

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Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

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Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

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guy 1... "do you no any funny jokes?" guy2 ..."no" guy1 ..."same"

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what smells like red paint but is blue paint?

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? -I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "That is a worrying symptom," says the doctor, who immediately recommends the woman for a thorough psychiatric assessment.

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I Wish... I was Charlie Sheen's Dealer

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Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano when my arm heals? Doctor: Did I not tell you? You insurance didn't cover the cost of this operation. Your arm is never going to be healed!

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Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

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Knock, Knock The door's open

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Q: What happened to the teenage girl and the serial rapist at Denny's around midnight? A: They both ordered the french toast Grand Slam breakfast (at Denny's, its breakfast any time!!).

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What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? he did cross the road

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

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Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot. *BOOM* Never mind, he was a terrorist.

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Why did the aeroplane engine fallon the house? Because of Donnie Darko

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops