I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

Q: What did my uncle Tom say when he first encountered my friend Richard Jefferson? A: Hello

Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot. *BOOM* Never mind, he was a terrorist.

When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

Q: Why MohammadReza Is a Bitch? A: Because he isnt a whore

It's black, and when it falls out of a tree, your refrigurator is broken. Your refrigurator.

3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

penis

"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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