I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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Oxygen and magnesium are going out OMG Think science the you might get it If not O oxygen mg magnesium

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i said wut wut in the butt!

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A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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What do you call two homosexuals in fancy hats? It depends, you have to ask their names first.

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GONNA

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If your yacht is if moving at 50 knots per hour in a wind tunnel how many leprechauns can you fit in a chamber? Even, because purple is attracted to bestiality.

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Why are you asleep? Because I'm tired.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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guy 1... "do you no any funny jokes?" guy2 ..."no" guy1 ..."same"

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How many blondes does it take to dye their own hair black and act in an intelligent, sensible manner?

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Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

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How much stuff would a stuff muff huff if a stuff muff could huff stuff? Whole dang lotsa

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A man rubs a magic lamp nothing happens

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What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

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What did the school bully get for his birthday? Beaten by his alcoholic father. Children are a product of their environment and his father's abusive nature towards his son forced the young boy to act out in class giving him the reputation of a bully.

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why do black people like to play basketball steal shoot and run

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here's a joke a black man goes in a store and buy something

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Why was Jenny walking home alone from school? Because three years ago her parents were murdered brutally by a drug dealer and social services haven't yet realised that Jenny is still living in the empty house.

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Why do immigrants move to the UK? To seek a better life

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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