Nero I know I am being a selffish bastard, but please let me speak with you for ten more minutes or so, I am sorry but its like part of me do not believe its you, we all saw your corpse, attended your funeral, please stick with me, I just feel flustered vulnerable and stupid.

Guest what? Dog

why is pie good. because it just is.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

why was the old man on the ground he fell

Asians.

800 people died last year. end of story

What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stops after 3 hos

Why couldnt Jimmy ride a bike? refrigerator

The Oakland Raiders

You scream I scream We all screamed when the chicken crossed the road

What's the difference between girl scouts and boy scouts? Girl scouts are usually females and boy scouts are usually males.

why did the guitar player cross the road? to play his gig

Q: What would happen if you threw a red brick into the black sea? A: It would get wet.

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

Why didn't the Mother packed her son's lunch? Because her son Timmy likes to go to the canteen

How do you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator? You find someone you trust and say "an elephant has been in my refrigerator".

Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

what do you get if you cross the mafia and the yakuza? a hefty bounty on your head

What do you call a 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.

What did Batman say to Robin just before they got in the bat mobile? Robin,get in the bat mobile.

What happened to the boy after his life saving surgery? He died of an unrelated disease.

Why did the penguin die? It got eaten.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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