Your Mum Is So Dumb, It Took Her 2 Hours To Watch 60 Minutes.

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares what a Chicken does?

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aa

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You know what happened when I kissed a girl? I enjoyed it so immensely that I received an erection.

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There is a blonde a Burnett and a red head. Life goes on.

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Robert had 30 cheeseburgers and he ate 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes.

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What is the difference between a rabbit and a plum? A: They are both purple, except for the rabbit!

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What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

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Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

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Q: What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? A: You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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What is the difference between Chuck Norris and a frog one wears pants and the Chuck Norris doesn't.

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how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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what did the indians give the pilgrims? syphylis

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas ? A treadmill

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Jack and jill went up a hill to get some water. Jack fell down, twisted his ankle, and continued to roll. He broke his spine and collar bone and he was later taken to the hospital. Later that night he died because the doctors couldn't do anything. Jill then killed herself in mourning.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I am a dog.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple

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What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

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Why couldn't the duck fly? It died.

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Q. Why was six afraid of seven? A. Because seven raped a three year-old child.

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Knock, knock. Door opened.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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