How much wood would a wood-chuck chuck, If a wood chuck could chuck wood? A full study has never been commissioned into the amount of wood chucked by a groundhog and thus far remains an unknown quantity. ls

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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What did the doctor say to the man with cancer? You have cancer.

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What is the black kid down the street getting for his birthday? Well first of all, his name is Pat. And he asked his parents for an Xbox that he will likely receive, and I assume a variety of other gifts from friends and family.

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How do you make your grandma fly? Push her off the back of a plane.

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Your social life.

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david weres the slug gone

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Why did the police suspect a Hispanic man of theft? Because they found his fingerprints at the scene.

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A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has insomnia.

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I think my son might be gay. He's started to listen to Justin Bieber, and last week I walked in on him engaging in penetrative anal sex with one of his friends.

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What's green, [ THIS BIG ] and flies around the room... A remote controlled gherkin!

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot was a potato.

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So a Jewish, Hispanic, and Asian man are on a plane. The pilot turns to them and says "aren't you tired of this?"

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only one and it is politically incorrect to assume otherwise.

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff. What's green and fluffy? Green fluff. What's red and fluffy? A kitten that got hit by a truck.

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Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? A. One is white, plastic and dangerous to young children, the other is a plastic bag.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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An Asian man man couldn't find his family, he is deeply concerned and contacts the missing persons unit.

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Basically

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Hi

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Q. Why did the 8 year girl scream and cry when she was raped? A. I have no idea either. I drugged her and taped her mouth closed.

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Hey can you turn Tmartn upI can't hear him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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