A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas?? -nothing, he didn't make it that far

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how do demolish a building alkekwhakbar

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Which of the following is the biggest? A. 7 B. 17 C. 71 D. Yo mama

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how did the man with the gun die? obesity

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Whats brown, large, thick, and sticky? a stick

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A stripper walks into a bar. She works there.

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I'm Batman.

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Q. Why did the 8 year old girl scream and cry when she was raped? A. I no idea either. I drugged her and taped her mouth closed.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? were both lawyer's.

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2 brothers were arguing, both had anger problems to the point where one started war with the other. Boy1: I HATE YOU Boy2: MOM HATES YOU Boy1: ....Wait why? Boy2: YOU WERE AN ACCIDENT SHE TRIED TO SELL YOU TO A MEXICAN AND HE SAID THAT THING WAY TOO DAM UGLEH ITD BURN THE FACES OFF MY COWS.

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Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkly? Because if they were small, round, and white, they would be called 'asprin'.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John, your son. Now open the door.

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How will Jesse die? His mom doesnt have any food left (or money) so she eats him, and then jesse's fat little brother farts on his obese corpse

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why did the kid die? his mom shot him

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Netflix and chill

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A White guy, Asian guy, and Black guy walk into a bar, and the Black guy wins the joke, as to not be racist.

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Sometimes I sit in the bath and pretend im a bubble

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What do you call a baked bean falling from 10,000 feet? A baked bean

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Why was the cook arrested? Tax evasion.

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hi

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Were you born on a freeway? because thats were all accidents happen.

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What did Harry Potters owl say to Harry Potter? delivowe for hawwy potter!

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Q: Why is six afraid of seven? A: Why??? Q: Idk, thats why I asked

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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