When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Q: Why didn't Jack go up the hill? A: He had prior engagements.

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights

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Why didn't little Jimmy eat his dinner? Jimmy didn't eat his dinner because there was no food. Jimmy is a poor street urchin who died of starvation.

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What is worst about the great white shark? It's hundreds of sharp teeth, strong tail, or subtle racism? Probably the teeth.

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What did the rabbit buy the Jewish duck for Hanukkah? Nothing, animals don't celebrate holidays.

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What is the name of Helin Keller's street, state and pet Street: Mahhehb State: Hahgre Pet: habdsa

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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Why did Jimmy eat the apple? Because he was obese and needed to eat healthy because his doctor suggested it.

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You're on a bus and the driver is black, you're white friend turns to you and says, We're gonna have a race on the highway!

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how many cucumbers dos it take to change a light bulb? none. cucumbers cant change light bulbs. dumbass.

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A man walks into a bar, muttering to himself. People stare at him because his severe Schizophrenia makes him stand out in social situations.

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Q: What did little Timmy get from his mother this Christmas? A: The contents of her will.

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What's the difference between men and women? I really can't tell anymore, there's so many goddamn transvestites.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? Cue annoying little kids saying WHAT!!!!!!!!! A: To check out all the chicks

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Ron Paul for President!

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack, due to her poor eating habits.

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What does a gay horse eat? Other gay horses.

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Why little Susie often molested as a child? She was probably a good-looking child.

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Q: What did the ant say to the bush? A: Ernest Borgnine

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Roses are gray, violets are gray. I am a dog.

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when life gives you lemons, you should go to the hospital as you may have dyslexia

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Roses are red

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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