How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

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Your mother is so fat; I love fat fat people.

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what happens when an unstoppable force hits an unmovable object? it goes around.

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what do you call mexicans in a circle around a house? a spicket fence

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drugs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea but I don't see why it would want to cross a road in the first place. It is a chicken.

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What shouldn't you say to a dementia patient? You already said that.

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally. I don't know anyone by that name, please go away.

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A jewish man runs into a wall with an erection. He broke his nose.

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Q: what's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon A: well the first noticable difference is that the watermelon tastes better.

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My period is red, Your sauce is white, now pull down your pants and let me do my workout.

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How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

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Why was the guy with six fingers called John? His name was John.

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Why did the penguin die? It got eaten.

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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Why was 9 afraid of 10 because 10 was a registered sex offender

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Why do jews love money so much? Because money is very valuable and everyone loves it.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

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Why did Hitler kill so many Jews? Because he didn't like them.

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Q: Why didn't the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops