When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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drugs.

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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What shouldn't you say to a dementia patient? You already said that.

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"Did you fall from heaven?...Cause your face is really messed up."

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Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea but I don't see why it would want to cross a road in the first place. It is a chicken.

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Is that my bread? I sure hope so.

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Multiple complications including broken bones, a fractured skull, liver disease, and the fact that all his family had been gassed by the Nazis.

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What does a man that has to go to the bathroom do when there is no restroom within a reasonable walking radius? He gets in his car and drives to the nearest rest stop.

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Q: What did the shark say while eating the surfer A: Nothing, his mouth was full, and besides....sharks cannot talk.

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A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? (smell my poo)

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Very, very hungry.

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Why do cats have eyes? So they can see.

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Two homeless men are baking in an oven. They scream loudly until they both die.

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TWO ROADS DIVERGED IN A WOOD

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You know what isn't funny? Getting punched in the face. You know what is funny? Brittany Spears getting punched in the face.

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Your mother is so dumb, that she had a very poor ACT composite score.

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Why couldn't Kelly finish her test? She spontaneously combusted.

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how come bob felt 'under pressure'? because somebody dropped a dumpster on him

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why is pie good. because it just is.

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the man was talking to a phone no answered cause he talking to a brick wall

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Once upon a time

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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