Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

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Why didn't the blond cry at her child's funeral? She died, too. It was a terrible accident.

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What's worse than giong to Hell? Nothing. Hell is as bad as it gets.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin get in the Batmobile.

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Why did the fish cross the road? Because the chicken was carrying an aquarium.

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who's yellow , and looks like a bear? pudsey

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

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What is blue and not heavy? Light blue!

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What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

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how do you know if your friend is your best friend? if he cries you cry, if he laughs you laughs, if he jumps out a window you laugh again.

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What do you call cat that is on fire? Nigel.

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don't make holocaust jokes, my grandfather died in the holocaust, he fell out of the birds nest shooting Jews.

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Two Muslim men board an American Airlines jet. Nobody feels threatened and engage in friendly conversations with the passengers. The aircraft explodes due to poorly manufactured engine parts made by small starving children.

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Q: What do you get if you combine a melody, instrumentation, rhythm, and vocals? A: Um, music, you idiot.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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I like my coffee the way I like my women.....without a penis.

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How do you kill a zombie? You don't. Zombies aren't real.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To who? No, Sir, it is "to whom"

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Just happy you are back Nero, I have no idea what a proxy is but I am at my mum`s place, is everything alright between us now?

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Hey I just banged you, and it was crazy, delete my number, and keep the baby.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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