What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

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What is blue and not heavy? Light blue!

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What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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who's yellow , and looks like a bear? pudsey

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Two Muslim men board an American Airlines jet. Nobody feels threatened and engage in friendly conversations with the passengers. The aircraft explodes due to poorly manufactured engine parts made by small starving children.

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Q: What do you get if you combine a melody, instrumentation, rhythm, and vocals? A: Um, music, you idiot.

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How do you kill a zombie? You don't. Zombies aren't real.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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I like my coffee the way I like my women.....without a penis.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and 50 dead babies? Where the hell would you even find 50 dead babies? That would be really disturbing.

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"Look me in the eye" said Cyclops.

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Hey girl, are you from Jamaica? Cus ja makin me go temporarily insane.

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Hey I just banged you, and it was crazy, delete my number, and keep the baby.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the man with aids say? "I'm dying and there is nothing you can do about it"

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Knock knock Who's there? To To who? No, Sir, it is "to whom"

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Just happy you are back Nero, I have no idea what a proxy is but I am at my mum`s place, is everything alright between us now?

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Why did the black girls wear fancy clothes to the mall? Public nudity is considered a crime in many parts of the world. It would be advisable to wear clothes in public areas, so as to avoid being arrested.

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Whats worst than reading the 8th anti joke that ends with the Holocaust? The one where it ends with someone getting hit by a fridge for the 9th time.

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My dog got out of it's cage. So I found it and be the shit out of

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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What did the man say when he put his penis in the blender? Arghhhhhhh!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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