So a jew walks into a bar!

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wh@t d0 y0u c@II @ d0g5sh£t w1th n0 sm£II? 0ID d0gsh£T

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am color-blind, I hate my life

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What do you call a man with no arms an no legs in the ocean? Bob What do you call the same man on your front porch? Matt What do you call the same man on your wall? Art

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what is worse than a joke? an anti-joke.

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because he was a loaf of bread

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Dick in your vagina fuck cock cunt shit

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Why did little tomas cry? Because he got raped by his uncle

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Why don't vampires like garlic? Every vampires was raped by a garlic salesman.

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My mom

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Roses are blue vilotets are yellow, obviously I don't know this rhyme so well u have aids and will die of cancer at the age of 25, and so will ur mom

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João Duarte reads this.

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Whats worse then 10 black men hanging from trees? Kittens

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How did the black kid pass his exam? He studied.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? You rub your bloody penis on her teddy bear.

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What's the difference between a car tyre and 365 used condoms? One is a Goodyear. The others a fucking great year!!! San2

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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What's blue paint and smells like red paint? Paints

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Q:What does a virgin and a penny both have in common? A:Guys don't want them.

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How do you starve a Somalian? Too late.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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One day, a bear happoned across a man and said "How do you do today good sir?" but the man ran away screaming "OH CRAP, BEARS!!!!" because it just sounded like bear growling (which i would love to dedicate to my friend Chris Bradley, just to make the ball to stick ratio too high)

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How do you get a blonde with one hand out of a tree? Grab a ladder and carry her down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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