What do you call a dead child? The product of a car crash

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

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While i was driving, my son asked, 'Have you had an accident in the last 5 years Dad?' And I replied, 'You're almost four now son'.

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What did the little boy become for Halloween? An orphan, his parents were killed that day.

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What do you call a man who beats his adopted, black children? A terrible person.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was white

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do you have a pen i can borrow? yeah, here.

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My mom says to me are you gay and i say are you gay (What did i just do)

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Why do black poeple like fryed chicken? Becuase it greases there insides just like there outsides.

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whats 2+2 equal? 4

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What did the man say when he lost his keys? I lost my keys. What did the man say when he saw an elephant in the distance? There is an elephant in the distance.

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What did the Shark attack victim say just before she died from her injuries? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Hitler and Jews become friends.

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Why did the man drive into the river? He was sleep deprived from working overtime.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It heard you like to choke the chicken.

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How do you piss off a blind person? Tell him to piss in a round room.

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What did the guy say before he learned how to Dougie? Teach me how to Dougie

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why did the plane crash the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Q. what has one million arms and tells it to people A.a liar

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If chuck noris has five dollars and you have five dollars, he has more money than you. He forgot about the extra dollar in his back pocket

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not yours.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob. What do you call a man with no arms or legs in front of your door? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging on your wall? Art.

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One terrible stormy night, the citizens of Ristoville were hiding from the monsterous lightning cloud approaching them. Little Jonny Harrison, however, was not afraid. This boy had been bullied from the ripe young age of about 14 months by his closest friend, Uncle Oliver, who happens to be a Catholic Priest. Jonny wanted to face the storm, with 6 years behind him, he thought it bizzare that anything worse than Uncle Oliver's magical basement could be brought unto him. He grabbed his supply of Cheese and Onion Quavers, a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Flavoured Ribena, his pretend mobile, a 10ft long metal conductor and his pet grape, "Christopher", and set out for the journey of his life. He told his terminally ill mother that he is going for the adventure of a lifetime, his dad that he wishes him well, and finally, his Grandmother, Rosie Harrison, who has had a severe addiction to meth for almost 25 years now, who has had over 13 interventions and countless attempts at suicide, that he loves her with all of his strong, brave heart, and to hang in there. Little Jonny Harrison takes his first step outside, facing the eye of storm with a little bit of pee in his pants, squeezes his Ribena, slightly squirting it and throwing it heroicly to the drooping wet grass, and screams to the cloud, at the top of his lungs, the words, "I am unstoppable!". Jonny died of HIV induced AIDS and his Uncle was given three to five years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation and consistent domestic abuse and paedophillia. His Grandmother, Rosie, also died later that day.

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A man in an airport asked me if i wanted my bag to be carry-on. So i said yes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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